I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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