did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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