i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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