so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
