My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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