I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
