so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
