toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
