I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
