roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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