yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
