My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize