Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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