dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
