From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
