hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize