God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
