Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
