I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am never drinking with the goths again.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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