Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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