Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
