I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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