Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
