thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
