his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
