We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize