Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
