I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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