I could have mohawked her pubes.
I could make wine with my vomit
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I need moral support for this bender
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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