Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
