I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
These tits shall not be calmed
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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