i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
