areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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