I wish I could teleport
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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