I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
