He is an equal opportunity slut.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i believe in u and ur pee
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
