Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
