I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
