They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
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