Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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