Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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