so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I smell like Dick and happiness
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
