I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
