Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
