Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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