but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
