the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
