it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
