it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
