I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
