i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
