I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm really into asian looking animals
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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