i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
