How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
