Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize