Banned from zoo.
Again?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
