well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize