omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
