She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
