i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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