I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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