I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
