Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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